He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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