I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Randomize
