Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize