She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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