he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
