Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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