I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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