did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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