How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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