It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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