I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
