Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
That accounts for only three of the penises
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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