There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
