Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
