The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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