please come you make the beer taste better
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
