No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
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Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
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Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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