I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
This is classic penis vs brain.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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