dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize