I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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