So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
