There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence