Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
