I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Your cock deserves a montage
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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