we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
