i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
He had one of those small greek statue penises
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize