i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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