Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
