Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
