Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
