We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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