I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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