Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
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Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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