I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Randomize