She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
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I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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