I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're using joints as your birthday candles
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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