I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
