I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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