just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police scanner is talking about you again....
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize