She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
