Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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