My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is