Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.

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  (310): my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was. http://tfl.nu/26j1
  Replies (9) Good night (1314) Bad night (1502)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.

  (1-607): View more from New York

  I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey

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  (607): It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit. (1-607): I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey http://tfl.nu/q7g1
  Replies (16) Good night (2746) Bad night (684)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.

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  (706): Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number. http://tfl.nu/7aw5
  Replies (11) Good night (611) Bad night (3861)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  succeeding

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  (781): we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives? (910): succeeding http://tfl.nu/avwv
  Replies (10) Good night (5229) Bad night (1023)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.

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  (919): He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy. http://tfl.nu/fux5
  Replies (11) Good night (4949) Bad night (1030)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.

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  (920): Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven. http://tfl.nu/0uzd
  Replies (4) Good night (2069) Bad night (697)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.

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  (715): She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee. http://tfl.nu/wutx
  Replies (7) Good night (1739) Bad night (911)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.

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  (914): I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem. http://tfl.nu/p4yj
  Replies (3) Good night (1181) Bad night (641)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"

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  (847): Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!" http://tfl.nu/mldx
  Replies (5) Good night (2389) Bad night (540)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.

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  (248): Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students. http://tfl.nu/08kn
  Replies (50) Good night (946) Bad night (4638)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.

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  (405): Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast. http://tfl.nu/xva7
  Replies (5) Good night (2442) Bad night (544)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?

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  (858): I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again? http://tfl.nu/4q23
  Replies (4) Good night (1260) Bad night (560)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.

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  (920): I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation. http://tfl.nu/1i3x
  Replies (7) Good night (1373) Bad night (492)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday

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  (262): The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday http://tfl.nu/kdkl
  Replies (3) Good night (1307) Bad night (500)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...

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  (902): Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls... http://tfl.nu/dtir
  Replies (2) Good night (750) Bad night (245)

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