Texts From Last Night

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji

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  (508): this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji http://tfl.nu/f9w1
  Replies (9) Good night (1353) Bad night (2371)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  tonight, alcohol would be proud of us

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  (778): tonight, alcohol would be proud of us http://tfl.nu/7h3d
  Replies (10) Good night (5152) Bad night (747)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night

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  (740): Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night http://tfl.nu/r09y
  Replies (9) Good night (5074) Bad night (1378)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...

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  (250): Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety... http://tfl.nu/2t4m
  Replies (8) Good night (3431) Bad night (1299)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.

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  (937): I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad. http://tfl.nu/m8mw
  Replies (13) Good night (5432) Bad night (956)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.

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  (214): Why does it always end up with me crying in my car. http://tfl.nu/bhj2
  Replies (10) Good night (719) Bad night (3144)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.

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  (602): Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world. http://tfl.nu/6f3f
  Replies (53) Good night (1498) Bad night (8278)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Im 95% ready to shit behind 711

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  (360): Im 95% ready to shit behind 711 http://tfl.nu/2mf3
  Replies (4) Good night (1288) Bad night (2227)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.

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  (810): You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored. http://tfl.nu/wqg4
  Replies (12) Good night (3025) Bad night (827)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.

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  (604): You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed. http://tfl.nu/a2ab
  Replies (2) Good night (910) Bad night (1416)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens

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  (860): I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens http://tfl.nu/onsn
  Replies (2) Good night (2178) Bad night (698)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.

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  (775): Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think. http://tfl.nu/vd5v
  Replies (2) Good night (609) Bad night (1102)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"

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  (780): I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future" http://tfl.nu/8p29
  Replies (7) Good night (1126) Bad night (407)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans

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  (317): He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans http://tfl.nu/lyo2
  Replies (0) Good night (576) Bad night (312)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(

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  (407): No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :( http://tfl.nu/m10m
  Replies (5) Good night (362) Bad night (452)

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