Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
