we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays