Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
where am i from again
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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