I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.