Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(281): View more from Texas

I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?

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(281): I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow? http://tfl.nu/ft8k

Replies (62) Good night (1314) Bad night (2895)
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(619): View more from California

Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.

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(619): Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular. http://tfl.nu/9sri

Replies (36) Good night (3921) Bad night (589)
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(442): View more from California

seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong

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(442): seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong http://tfl.nu/rvkg

Replies (16) Good night (1682) Bad night (3702)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down

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(203): he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down http://tfl.nu/m1he

Replies (31) Good night (919) Bad night (6427)
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(912): View more from Georgia

you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.

(919): View more from North Carolina

That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.

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(912): you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet. (919): That explains the puddle of pee in my closet. http://tfl.nu/tfvg

Replies (7) Good night (1221) Bad night (5316)
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(514): View more from Quebec

He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.

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(514): He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic. http://tfl.nu/4dpi

Replies (38) Good night (12267) Bad night (1273)
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(530): View more from California

Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts

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(530): Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts http://tfl.nu/nvqd

Replies (7) Good night (2982) Bad night (902)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?

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(724): He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl? http://tfl.nu/b3zj

Replies (12) Good night (877) Bad night (1991)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.

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(604): We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it. http://tfl.nu/rgwr

Replies (5) Good night (1660) Bad night (794)
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(916): View more from California

She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.

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(916): She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared. http://tfl.nu/d52d

Replies (14) Good night (960) Bad night (2566)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.

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(501): gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable. http://tfl.nu/22ca

Replies (21) Good night (4200) Bad night (1216)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"

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(508): Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!" http://tfl.nu/hrv9

Replies (6) Good night (2163) Bad night (807)
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(714): View more from California

So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.

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(714): So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions. http://tfl.nu/jiu6

Replies (5) Good night (1889) Bad night (503)
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(330): View more from Ohio

I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.

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(330): I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again. http://tfl.nu/tjdc

Replies (5) Good night (1102) Bad night (365)
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(225): View more from Louisiana

All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.

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(225): All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much. http://tfl.nu/26fo

Replies (1) Good night (498) Bad night (211)

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