so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
