foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
