you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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