Umm I'm too high to move.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
