One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
