She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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