look no pants
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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