True but thats because hes a fetus.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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