I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You brought string cheese to the strip club
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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