Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
