you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
