Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
