ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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