oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came on her dog
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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