My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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